I struggled with my confidence on and off since I was a kid. Maybe you can relate? When I was a kid, I was shy and afraid to be myself because I wanted everyone to like me. After I graduated high school, went to college on my own, I began to let my personality show with the help of a good old friend, alcohol!
The party lifestyle ended pretty quickly once I graduated college with an Exercise Science/Nutrition degree in 2011. I started personal training shortly after. When I started I had absolutely no confidence in my ability to help others. I felt like I couldn’t even help myself! I was out of shape, about 30 pounds heavier, I was partying on the weekends, staying up late, eating salads all week to binge eat whatever I wanted on the weekends.
My lifestyle wasn’t working toward my goals so I started training for various fitness competitions, over the next several years. I did a marathon, a triathon, half marathon, and a fitness show. I was so happy training for these competitions. I felt strong, confident, goal oriented, and motivated. However, the second I wasn’t “training” I went to my old ways of binge eating and drinking. I’d again end up feeling miserable, alone, fake, unworthy and gained any weight I lost back.
During this time I felt like shit about myself because I wasn’t being the person I wanted to be. In fact, I was being the complete opposite. I remember the day I made the decision to live my life like I wanted to and be the person I wanted to be! I was getting out of the shower, I was 30 pounds heavier, feeling guilty for my binging behaviors and my lack of decipline. The weight of my recent choices were weighing on me literally and figuratively so I told myself, that’s it, I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself and I start living how I feel like I should.
So what did this actually mean? Well let’s talk about what I wanted. I wanted to look like a personal trainer. I wanted to be lean and feel hot! I wanted to eat healthy all the time, stop binge eating, control my emotional eating, be a successful business woman, be a kinder, more open and loving friend, sister, daughter and partner.
So what I did was take actions to make sure I was living in those ways. It took time for me to get to the place I am today. But all I had to do was show up every day and do the things I said I would do or wanted to do. For me it looked like, working out everyday, controlling my emotional eating, drinking water everyday, and choosing healthier food choices on the weekends.
After about a year of changing my habits, slowly one at a time, (I was not perfect) there were many days of tears and trying to give up but there were also days of triumph and celebration. The point was over the following year most of my decisions were aligned to accomplishing my goals and I was able to reach my goal to lose 30 lb and keep it off.
There’s only one way to achieve the goals you set and that is following through on your word. Each decision that you make is a choice for you to either align with something that will help you get closer to your goal or push you farther from your goal and keep you stagnant. You must follow through on your word if you’re going to lose weight you have to f****** do it. If you’re saying you’re going to get a new job you have to take action to make that happen. Nobody is going to do anything for you. But every time you make a decision that aligns with your goals you will gain confidence and overtime you will be the most confident bad ass boss lady or man!
Confidence is doing the things your say you’re going to do. When you do the things you say you’re going to do you will live a confident life. The formula is simple, consistency over time!
Check out this podcast where Ed Mylett goes into great detail about how to build your own confidence.